A wise and old friend said to me long ago, “You are an either/or kind of person or a both/and kind of person–one or the other, one person can’t be both.” Of course, she smiled as she said it.

She was trying to help me overcome a bad habit of seeing the world in black or white terms–something was either “X” or “the opposite of X.”  I don’t do that much anymore.

As I have grown older, I have more and more come to see how complicated life is, and how there are more than two sides to most questions.

Still, some things either are–wrong, tall, peaceful, etc.–or they are not. The old saying–“You cannot have your cake, and eat it, too”–is true. But there are other things more important than that.

Emmet Fox says, “You cannot have power in prayer, and the luxury of resentment and condemnation, too.” Or “build a new consciousness and a new body, and live mentally in the dead past, too.”

Sometimes, either/or is just the way it is. The good news is that God always is available to guide us.

Published by

Robin Hawley Gorsline

Robin is a poet (claiming this later in life) and Queer Theologian--reflecting a soul of hope and faith and joy and justice/shalom. He is happily married to Dr. Jonathan Lebolt (20 years and counting), the proud parent of three glorious daughters (and grateful to two wonderful sons-in- law and a new one soon!), and the very proud "Papa" to Juna (6) and Annie (3).

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