I Am a Writer. Repeat. I Am a Writer. Repeat . . .

Getting organized, and staying organized, are probably the greatest challenges of my life.

Robin Study desk chaosI do not seem to know how to organize even my desk, let alone myself. I manage to keep our over-crowded home (we didn’t downsize enough when we moved here in the summer and we are struggling to do so now) in fairly good order–with Jonathan’s help–but my study is simply chaotic (see picture).

Some of this is due to my still trying to figure out how to live my new life as a writer. This is the first time in almost 50 years of working that I have worked for myself by myself. Perhaps this is part of finally growing up!

Maybe also I am having trouble accepting my newfound call to write, still doubting that I have the capacity to pull it off. I know I carry around some sense yet that I am a fraud, that I don’t really know how to write, that if I really pour myself into this I will stumble and fall.

I am a writerOf course, I have more to learn about my new profession–it would be sad if I thought otherwise, even had I been writing all my life–and yes I may stumble and fall. But I have done that before and have always picked myself up, with God’s help and my friends and family. I can do that again.

But a fraud? How can I be a fraud when the call on my soul is so clear? It would not be the first time I doubt God, but if the past is any indication that is a losing proposition! If there is one thing I have learned it is that trusting God is the way forward in life.

Of course, that does not mean I cannot or should not argue with God. I agree with those interpreters of the Book of Job who say that the reason God rewards Job and chastises his friends is because Job cared enough, believed enough, to argue with God while they counseled him to simply give in.

Job and friends
blogs.thegospelcoalition.org

But I don’t feel like arguing with God. I think, I believe, God is right. Or to put it even more clearly, I believe God (something that is far more vital than simply believing in God, good though that is).

And I believe, I feel certain, that I heard God correctly through the voice of the trees in Yosemite a year ago (see “And The Writing Keeps Crying Out”). My call feels genuine and powerful.

So, to get back to organization. A writer needs a good space for writing. I need a good space for writing.

soul tree side view 2Today, I will do some sorting and sifting and concentrate on how to begin to make this space work for me. No more being overwhelmed by chaos. I will at least begin to tame it.

Stay tuned for progress reports. And feel free to share tips and ideas you have for conquering the Disorganizing Syndrome.

Published by

Robin Hawley Gorsline

Robin is a poet (claiming this later in life) and Queer Theologian--reflecting a soul of hope and faith and joy and justice/shalom. He is happily married to Dr. Jonathan Lebolt (20 years and counting), the proud parent of three glorious daughters (and grateful to two wonderful sons-in- law and a new one soon!), and the very proud "Papa" to Juna (6) and Annie (3).

5 thoughts on “I Am a Writer. Repeat. I Am a Writer. Repeat . . .”

  1. You write like a writer. Please let me know how you clear the clutter and perhaps I too can believe the purpose God is presently requiring of me. Namaste’ Pastor

    1. Thank you, Barbara, for the affirmation! Today, I just tackled the piles on my desk, got rid of much of it, and now have a manageable pile to go through and put into folders, etc. I have committed to starting this sorting tomorrow afternoon, and to keep at it until all that is organized. The real key is setting up a way to deal with stuff as it comes in, every day or every few days, and not letting it get overwhelming. I will probably write more about this, as I am able to do it (pray for me, and I will pray for you, too!).

  2. You can’t fail as a writer because you already have people (like me) reading and learning new things from your writing. Just now I grasped the concept of Believing God rather than believing in God. WOW that is so insightful. I am going to ponder that for the time being until I feel I have totally grasped that idea. I don’t think creative minds are organized, our minds jump from one idea to another and in order not to lose them we try to do several things at once. However I do create better when my desk is back in order and I try to limit the mess. Once in awhile I just put all the clutter on a table and clear it out. Get the shredder, basket close as well as file folders and a label maker and start in. It takes less time than I expect it to and then I just put the file folders away and put the core stuff back on my desk. Hope this helps and keep on writing I think you are doing just great! NVC

    1. Thank you, Nancy! I really appreciate your encouragement. And yes, I forgot when the difference between believing in God and believing God first became conscious, I suspect somebody wrote it or said it and I, like you, said, Oh, yeah, that makes a difference in my life. So I had not read your comment until now but I more or less did what you suggest so now I have a much smaller pile and I am committed to going through that and organzing–filing, creating folders, taking actions, as necessary with that stuff. The real key is setting up a way to deal with stuff as it comes in, every day or every few days, and not letting it get overwhelming. I will probably write more about this, as I am able to do it (pray for me, and I will pray for you, too!).

  3. Robin, my partner who died was one of the messiest people I knew. In the spare room that was his “studio” (he was a visual artist), there was very little floor space to step on because he liked to place things – books, papers, pictures, knickknacks, you name it – here, there and everywhere. Can you clean this mess up, I’d ask (sometimes not so nicely). Years later, I’ve come to recognize what I’m sure Steve knew well – that when I’m really writing, everything else goes away. And if the moment is particularly powerful or enjoyable, I get lost in it for a day, or two or more. The mess around your desk is just a symptom that you’re doing what you love. And doing it well. So blessed be the mess (!) and all that is born of it.

Leave a reply to Robin Gorsline Cancel reply